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Alice* clutched the side of her face with shock. She started to taste the blood building inside her mouth. The sound of his bellowing voice mixed with her cries of pain and engulfed the moving car.
"I'll never forget the first time he hit me. It was supposed to be the happiest time of our lives - I was 12 weeks pregnant with our first baby and we were on our way to our new home in West Yorkshire. I was so hysterical he pulled over at the next service station. He said sorry but that it was my own fault for agitating him with my so-called 'nagging' and 'going and getting pregnant'.
I was barely 21 at this point and literally knew nobody - no friends, no job and the only family I had were based in the south. I spent days just sat in on my own, nursing my growing baby bump as my partner disappeared for months at a time on business.
Saying I was isolated doesn't even cover it. I could feel a little bit of me disappearing every day. On one hand I wanted him to come home just so I wouldn't feel so lonely but when he did, I immediately regretted it. He was so angry all the time and would say nasty things like I was fat and ugly and that no one else would ever want me.
I remember been in hospital after just giving birth and the nurse asking my partner to calm down because he was being so rude and aggressive to everyone. He didn't like that at all, so as punishment I had to get a taxi on my own to take me and my newborn baby home. I had just walked through the door and he was demanding I cook some elaborate meal for his tea. I was so weak I just couldn't face it. I didn't care if he was going to hit me I had weirdly started to accept that this was the way things were.
The beatings and mental abuse continued throughout the next few years. He continued to work away which gave me some reprieve - I even got a job on a night at a factory. It was the hardest job I'd ever done but at the same time, I had the best time. I started to feel a bit more my old self. Despite me being the only woman worker, I even made a few friends with some of the guys working there.
This didn't last long though. He found out about the job and even accused me of having an affair with one of the men. He used to wait for me at the gate after work and shout things at me. I was so embarrassed I had to leave.
Time went on and by now nearly five years had passed. As my child started to get older, I started to get a bit stronger - I knew I couldn't be a good role model for my child if I continued with the way things were.
I enrolled on an access course, got a job working for Asda and started volunteering for Bradford's Young Offenders Team. At the same time my partner lost his job following his aggressive behaviour. He wanted me to get pregnant again but I refused - I knew he only wanted a baby to try and gain some control over me as he was losing control of everything else in his life.
The final straw was a few months later when he came home one day and badly attacked me. I was just sat playing with my child, when he started shouting and cursing. He came over, grabbed my hair and beat me.
I knew I couldn't take anymore and phoned the police. They put me in touch with Staying Put and their legal assistance team and I managed to get a non-molestation order put in place. Unfortunately he soon breached this and the police and CPS set a trial to prosecute. In the end I didn't go through with the court case, due to pressure from family but I did leave him and had him removed from the house. When that non molestation order expired, Staying Put helped me to apply for another one.
Now, nearly eight years on from when I first come to West Yorkshire, I feel I'm getting my life back on track. I'm in the 2nd year of my Law degree and looking forward to making a successful career for me and my family. People comment all the time on how much more confident I look and act which gives me a real buzz and strength to keep going.
It's not easy and it can be really hard keeping up the momentum with new orders being put in place every six months, changing my phone number and regularly making alternative routes to college. He is always at the forefront of my mind, but I know light is at the end of tunnel and one day I'll be totally free.
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